Aussie Odyssey

Wow.

Three-and-a-half years ago, I sent an email home to a handful of folks to let them know I had made it safely to Australia; it had the same title as this week’s installment. Now, I’m sending an email to a couple hundred people to let them know that my Aussie Odyssey is coming to an end.

Boy, where do I even begin?

How does one find words to describe this adventure? Since January 2002, I have lived 10,000 miles from home in the Land Down Under. Not only did I start a new career and move to a new city, I moved to a different *country* about as far away as you can get. It takes a 30 hour day, three planes and several sleeping tablets to get home. Somehow I muddled through; cobbling something together from scratch that resembles a normal life: new friends, new routines, even a new language (If any Aussie ever tells you they speak English, don’t believe them. Provided you can understand what they say in the first place. But I digress.). But in the background of all this has been that tug of *home*. Of friends I’ve known longer than a few years and of family I only get to see once a year. I have missed far too many important birthday parties and my nieces, nephews and friends’ children are growing up very quickly.

In other words, I really, really miss home.

With that said, I’m also not entirely looking forward to leaving: Oz is a pretty neat place to live. I have made some wonderful friends here in Australia; people who mean a lot to me and whom I will miss terribly when I don’t see them every day. I’ve gotten very used to asking for toMAHto sauce to go on my chips, and I have become practically addicted to meat pies. And rugby is a pretty cool sport. And the Aussies have their priorities right: they work to live, instead of living to work (admit it: how many of you worked more than 40 hours last week?). From 9-5, they will give you an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay. Heaven help you if you need someone at 5:01pm, though – at that point, they’re all at the pub having a pint.

And I think it’s my turn to buy a round.

The biggest question asked of me lately – other than when I am coming back here – is if I am excited about going home. My response is, well, mixed. I’m happy to be going *home*, but sad to be leaving Australia. As you would expect, I have become attached to this place.

Kinda like gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe…

I’ll be back with everyone in 2 weeks – just before I head off to NYC to do Trauma Surgery at Harlem Hospital. (If anyone knows anyone in New York who might have a spare room, couch or closet they would like to rent out to me for the month of July, please let me know soonest!) I’m going to start sending these updates out every other week from now on; I expect to be a lot busier in the States doing my rotations. Plus, without the Aussie’s to pick on, the emails will only be about me.

And that would be rather boring.

And with that, it’s the weekend. I’ll relax in Sydney and repack my bags about three times before I fly out Monday afternoon to Washington, DC. Not to mention scraping the bottom of my shoes…

As always, Love to All and keep working on your 101 List!
Bryan

Confused

Boy, did *I* get a scare this week.

I was happily working in the ED, treating patients, ordering tests, considering diagnoses, formulating treatment plans, and flirting with the nurses (the female ones, that is). I even managed to save a life this week, which was rather nice. Anyway, one of the nurses was showing off this little guy and how cute he was; he was about 2 years old and his mum was a patient. As they came by, I said hello, to which he looks at me, points to me and says,

“Da-da.”

You’d think after all the things I have seen and done in surgery and emergency, nothing would shock me – I mean, I have held someone’s *spleen* in my hand. But there I was, passed out flat on my back on the floor. When they finally found the smelling salts and brought me around, I had to laugh at how confused the poor kid was. I mean, never mind the fact that I was nowhere near Alice Springs a few years ago, there was one serious flaw in his logic of me being his daddy:

He was Aboriginal.

Anyway, I was working with a patient today from Wisconsin. She came over here for a 2-year contract to work at the US military base near Alice Springs (I could tell you the name of the base, but then I would have to kill you. But I digress.). She figured she would spend a few years, travel around and see the Land Down Under then head back to the good ol’ US of A.

That was 14 years ago.

I have met many people here that came to Australia for a bit and have just stayed. Now, before anyone gets concerned about having to come to Oz for my 50th birthday party or anything, I’ll point out that I won’t have that same problem.

Mostly because the Immigration Department has already served notice and reserved my plane ticket…

I finish up in Alice next Friday and fly out to Sydney, where I will spend the weekend before heading out to Washington, DC on Monday, June 20th. Next week the email will be live from Sydney, where I started this whole mess, and I plan on leaving the country the same way I came in:

Drunk and very, very confused.

And with that, it’s the weekend. There is a huge dune buggy race here this weekend; I’ll probably head out and watch part of it, in addition to hanging around the ED when I can – they say there is a lot of carnage and injuries with the race, so it should be a good learning experience. I’ll also farewell some friends and start thinking of packing. Not to mention flirting with the nurses…

As always, Love to All and keep working on your 101 List!
Bryan

The Rock

OK, I’ve got a really great idea – follow along with me:

Let’s take the city boy camping. Never mind the fact that he has only been camping twice in his adult life and he considers it ‘roughing it’ when he stays in a hotel that doesn’t have room service. He’ll borrow some camping gear from someone he has never met, and then go out to the middle of the desert with no clue how to even unroll his sleeping bag – let alone how a ‘swag’ works. Throw into the mix two girls tagging along who had never been camping – one of whom brings a blow dryer. Sound like a good idea? While I learned a lot from this little expedition – like a corkscrew being vital camping equipment - let me share with you the biggest thing I discovered through all of this:

At night, in the middle of winter, in the desert, it gets *very* cold.

How cold? Freezing – literally. Who knew? Anyway, welcome to my trip to Uluru! The Rock itself is absolutely amazing; beyond words. We’ve all seen pictures of it, but they are nothing compared to the real thing. (I have posted some pictures on my blog from the trip: www.downunderdoc.blogspot.com ) It almost looks like a painted backdrop to a movie set. The thing is huge; you can see it from miles away and is much larger than you realize. And it changes colors as the sun moves across the sky – reds and oranges from flaming and brilliant to dull. It turns grey sometimes, but I didn’t get to see that. I also didn’t climb it: the local Aboriginals consider Uluru a sacred site; as such, they ask that you respect their beliefs and not climb it. There is also myth that if you take a rock from Uluru, it will bring the owner bad luck until it is returned.

Guess I should rethink my Christmas gifts to all of you, huh?

But after a fun weekend, it was back to the ED on Monday, where reality reared its ugly head. I was doing my best to work up this patient with a swollen cheek; I wanted to impress the head of the department who was on duty that day. I did a full history, examined the patient, came up with a great diagnosis, a full treatment plan; I had all the bells-and-whistles and was really proud of myself. I grabbed the doctors attention, gave her the complete story, told her what I thought the problem was and what should be done. I am expecting her to be so impressed that she gives me the rest of the day off and – on the spot – offer me a job. Obviously someone so good should not be working for free. Her response?

“Really? *That* is what you think is wrong?”

It was at this point I was trying to figure out how to hide in my coffee cup – just long enough to see if the traveling circus was still in town and if they had any openings in their clown troupe (I figure I could be Grumpy the Clown – I’ll just borrow the outfit from my brother. But I digress.). While my plan was very sound for someone with enlarged lymph nodes, there aren’t any lymph nodes in your cheek, so her lump was something else entirely. In other words, I was trying to undo all of evolution and rearrange human anatomy to make things fit what I thought was wrong – like the time I thought I had ovarian cysts.

Might I point out that I am now 6 months away from graduating from medical school?

And with that, it’s the weekend. I have to do a few weekend shifts while I am here; I’ll get those out of the way, along with dinner out with some friends. Not to mention getting this clown nose to stay on…

As always, Love to All and keep working on your 101 List!
Bryan

Guess Where I Am....

Bryan and Erin

The Green Thing is a Swag

Kings Canyon