Color

I think the color may have finally returned to my cheeks.

Remember, it takes a bit to shake me. After all, I’m the youngest child, I was in a college marching band, I used to sell Viagra, I’m a sailor, and I’m halfway through my 3rd year of medical school. So, if I hadn’t seen it all, I figured I’ve seen enough so very little could shock me anymore. What happened to me on Monday?

I helped deliver a baby.

Not the kind that comes screaming out of the mum in the operating room (which still scares me, by the way), but a 100%-normal-no-drugs-delivery, from where God meant them to come from. Yes, ladies and gentleman, I can finally tell you the answer to that age-old question: Where do babies come from?

It ain’t pretty.

It’s kinda unusual for a student to be involved, not because of the mum-to-be being modest or anything (From what I understand, you could have a video crew in the room with a live play-by-play by Keith Jackson, and she wouldn’t know or care. But I digress.), but the L&D ward here is staffed by midwives, and they give priority to midwife students. It’s not unusual for a med student to go through all 8 weeks of O&G, including a 24-hour shift, and see *nothing*. But I was lucky.

The expectant mother (along with her mother) said it was OK if I assisted. This initially meant I was to stand out of the way, not say much and fetch ice chips as needed. As the day wore on, I picked up more and more duties: I was allowed to get extra towels, and they even let me fix coffee for the midwife after a while (white, 2 sugars). At one point, they had me doing that whole La Maze breathing to help out – you know, short-sharp breaths during the contractions.

Not quite sure what it was supposed to do for *her*, but I was rather light-headed by the end.

As things progressed (meaning, she was screaming louder and I was getting more light-headed) I was relived of my coaching duties and moved down to the end of the bed, where I watched the bub (Australian for baby) make his grand entrance into the world. Now, I have seen Columbus after beating Michigan, and San Diego after winning a Super Bowl, but that is *nothing* like the carnage I saw after what we’ll call a ‘normal delivery’. I won’t go into details, but the room was a mess and I have never seen so many stitches needed to close a wound in my life…

My reaction to all this was noted by the new grandmother. When she was on the phone with some relatives relaying the joyous news, and I overheard her say, “Mum and baby are doing fine, and so am I. But I’m a bit worried about Bryan, the med student – he looks a bit pale.”

I realized I was slumped in the corner hyperventilating into a paper bag…

And with that, it’s the weekend. I’ll attend a birthday party tonight, and spend the rest of the weekend deep in the books. I mean, now that I know where babies come from, I need to figure out how they get there in the first place…

As always, Love to All and keep working on your 101 List!
Bryan

Alien

Alien

I assume that most of you have seen the original ‘Alien’ movie – classic from the 80’s; Sigourney Weaver was the star. The pivotal scene in the movie comes when the alien pops out of this guy’s stomach, attacks another person standing there and proceeds to wreak havoc for the rest of the movie. What brings this up?

The Labor Ward.

More specifically, the fact I got to watch a cesarean section this past Monday. The operation is kinda simple; a few quick cuts, a gush of water, and a then this *thing* comes out of her abdomen. Now, I’m not an expert, but I’m sure it wasn’t a baby. I mean, it looked like a baby might if you had painted it purple, brushed it with oil, rolled it in flour, and baked it just long enough for it to hold together but not quite be done.

Maybe that’s why they put it into a crib with a heat lamp.

As part of the O&G term, I am required to do certain things – check-the-boxes, if you will. Regular Labor & Delivery ward attendance, in-patient ward work, and out-patient clinics. I have all kinds of clinics to do: High-risk Pregnancy, Gynecology, Newly-Pregnant – plus a few others I shouldn’t mention in polite company. I know, since when do *I* worry about polite company, but I figure some of you might be eating breakfast, so I shouldn’t discuss how huge the needles are they use for amniocentesis…

I did my first clinic on Thursday; an ‘Antenatal’ clinic. I think we’d call it a ‘Prenatal’ visit back home – it’s where pregnant women come in for regular checks to see how close they are to popping. The midwife and I would take measurements and then palpate the abdomen, feeling for the position and size of both the top and the bottom of the baby. (Which I invariably got wrong. Guess it just goes to show I don’t know my head from my rump. But I digress.) On the first patient, I guess I was pushing a little too hard - I got kicked by the baby. Now, I don’t know about you, but with this kid kicking me from his hideout, and the c-section/Alien fresh in my mind, I decided it was best to step aside.

In other words, I scuttled across the room and hid under the desk. No sense in taking any chances…

And with that, it’s the weekend. I’ll get some studying done as well as a required 24-hour shift in the Labor Ward. Not to mention crawling out from under this desk…

As always, Love to All and keep working on your 101 List!
Bryan