Love Boat

This past Monday, Amber started on Ward 17. She is an exchange student from the University of Texas, studying to be a social worker. While her trip Down Under is under the guise of finishing up her Masters Degree, I know the truth:

She’s looking for love on Ward 17. Let me explain.

I have heard from my single female friends that one of the hardest things to do is find a guy. Well, not just *any* guy; those are everywhere. But one of those guys who are the complete package: chivalrous, stable income, good sense of humor, stays in shape, attractive – the tall, dark, and handsome type, if you will.

Me, as an example.

Anyway, my type are not easy to find; women will go to great lengths to find us. Singles outings, bar-hopping, speed-dating, personal ads, AA meetings, computer dating, attending church-temple-mosque – my friend DD has even tried volunteering in prison to find a guy. (Think about the perks DD gets: her guy would have plenty of time to work out; no women around to stray with; he’d have a stable job in the prison metal shop; she always knows where he is; and she is free to do all the things she wants in life. Pretty ideal, if you ask me. But I digress.) But all you ladies are missing out on a great opportunity:

The Psych Ward.

And it wouldn’t be without precedent. In fact, Ward 17 – just in the time I have been there – has had a few ladies find their man. One of our older female patients seems to have fallen for the guy who writes his own poetry; he reads it to her over lunch. Another example is the mother of a patient; she was visiting her daughter when she saw an army veteran/patient in the dining hall. Their eyes met across a crowded room. Mum started coming in to visit *him* instead; when he was discharged, he went to see her instead of going home.

Who says love is hard to find?

And in the psych ward, you can find whatever you want: want someone who will listen to you? Find a catatonic. Someone who will keep up with you? There’s a manic in bed 16. Someone who will never leave you? Dependent personalities seem to thrive on Ward 17. And when you’re tired of your new man, just call up and have him detained. What could be a better way of breaking up with someone? And if nothing else, there are always the cute medical students…

Not to mention me.

So ladies, I saw you follow Amber’s lead and head to the local psych ward for love. Every body now: Love, exciting and new, come aboard, we’re expecting you…. (You can thank me later for having that song run through your head all day.)

And with that, it’s the weekend. I’m heading down to one of my favorite restaurants tomorrow to watch The Tour Down Under, an annual bike race here in Adelaide – nothing like sipping wine while watching athletic events. Other than that, I’ll get some work done on a psychiatry paper due in a few weeks. Not to mention starting a dating service…

As always, Love to All and keep working on your 101 List!
Bryan